“Pure Lust is an oxymoron”
2016 will always be the year that we almost lost Culture. So many musicians, actors, Icons taken; some not surprising (Fidel Castro was 90), some shockingly early (Anton Yelchin was 27). There’s no rhyme or reason for the amount of deaths this year, just that a dark shroud always will hang over 2016. The death that occurred today probably hit the hardest. Carrie Fisher died due to a massive cardiac arrest and after a two day ICU stay. Because of the past hellhole of a year, I hoped above all she would make it. Carrie was a hero of my life through all stages.
She was the Princess of my childhood and teen years, the tough heroine who didn’t need the the Knight in Shining Armor. Princess Leia was her own savior. During my 20’s and 30’s, Carrie became the mental health warrior, telling the world that illness of the mind was just that, illness. Through her struggles with Bipolar Disorder and addiction, Carrie fought publicly for all who suffered such. In my life, with a mental illness that had no name then and wouldn’t for 30 years (Borderline Personality Disorder), Carrie was the light. She said that said yes, you can live and be productive and even thrive in the middle of mental chaos. That message saved me.
Now that I’m in my mid 40’s, Carrie Fisher was to me the epitome of a woman aging well and on her own terms. She told Hollywood and the world that being an older woman should not be judged as a character flaw. She was gloriously herself, brash and bold, in the teeth of antagonism from the mainstream media due to her looks. Carrie Fisher refused to be invisible, in a culture that expects women over 40 to be so after their perceived “fuckability/desirability” has diminished. Her life can be summed up as lived on her own terms with zero fucks given, and I hope to live up to those standards. Thank you for teaching me this Carrie. I’ll miss you.