So many friends who otherwise have open minds wonder at the concept of open marriage. Especially my open marriage, which stuns people. How can I stand the thought of Daniel with another woman? What if she tries to take him away? What if he finds someone else and leaves? What if you do? These are valid questions. Let’s start in general, and go specific, shall we?
Open marriage is the agreement between two parties who don’t make fidelity a part of their marriage. They might have been part of an earlier, emotionally trying marriage. Or, they might just not believe monogamy works. So, couples set an agreement to see other partners outside of marriage with various conditions. Some of our friends in open marriages don’t allow kissing outside the marriage, etc. Then, they live their lives.
Is there jealousy? Depends on the couple. Some pairs do an open marriage for a very short time because they can’t deal with the jealousy, or insecurity. And that’s all jealousy is really, the insecurity of self. It all boils down to the strength of the core marriage. If you feel that loyalty is more important than fidelity, all is well. One needs to feel secure that your partner will come home, no matter what. Not many can reach that.
Yes, I am openly married to Daniel, for 10 years. I don’t often mention him here, because I think he needs his own privacy. Our marriage’s always been open, since we were swingers when we met. We both have had outside partners, he more than I because of illness. Are we a perfect couple, no, who is? We are still together, and love each other, and that’s all that matters.