My Twitter friend @alendrel brought up a salient point today about my last post: you can have incredible, satisfying sex without orgasms. The prevailing thought is that for it so be “good” sex, a happy ending is a necessity….Not so.
I have had about 2/3 of my overall sexual encounters without orgasm. Could I call all of them good? Well, no. There were the ever present drunk partners who couldn’t get a hard on. Some clients in my professional sex work career either misfired or couldn’t stay erect. However, I’ve made love to men who made me feel like a goddess, beautiful and desirable. There’s been men who made me laugh until tears rolled down my face. Did I orgasm? No, but I felt like a queen.
Sex doesn’t start in the pubes, it starts in the brain. You take care of that erogenous zone for your partner first, it won’t matter if they cum. They’ll be satisfied.