#ALS · #Anxiety · Sexuality

I am a Pussy…

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Pain isn’t a stranger to me. Let me list how many ways: two car wrecks, Rheumatoid arthritis, Fibromyalgia, ALS, and oh yeah .. CHILDBIRTH!! One of my doable bucket list check offs is a septum piercing, or a bull ring, as my offspring calls it. I’ve already had a nostril piercing, but infection set in and had to be removed. Was it painful? Hell yes it was, but I was fearless. My child sat there and watched me have it done. The one thing I’ve always prided myself is my bravery. Trying something freaky has always been my calling card. Wanna quit college and travel around the country? Sure, no problem. Become a witch, a BDSM sub, a swinger, an escort? No big deal. I absolutely loved the adrenaline rush of living on the edge.
Now, I’m positively scared shirtless about a septum piercing. Most people know precious little about ALS, but all of the effects are not physical. There is a mental element to ALS, mostly extreme anxiety. Motor nerves start in your brain, and ALS is the death of those motor nerves. Never in all my years on this earth have I suffered from this much anxiety. It’s crippling. The adrenaline rush I used to eat like Molly now causes paralysis. There are other mental symptoms that I don’t wish to discuss, but anxiety fucking is the worst.
This will not stop me. The fear is fake, and I know this. Tomorrow I WILL have my ass at Tattoo Charlie’s in Lexington, and this piercing WILL happen. The writing that terrifies me will continue. I will win…

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