Sexuality

Masturbation is Hard…

Today on Twitter is #MasterbationMonday. Usually I have a good time going to the links f dot leonora posts, catching up on the excellent smut. This doesn’t lead to a hot self pleasure session, however. Recently I’ve found double clicking my own mouse to be fraught with difficulty. What most people don’t realize is that just like any sexual contact, self love isn’t instant or spontaneous.
It’s different for men than for women, of course. Most men I talk to use jacking off for release. They don’t seem to need connection, a good glance or thought and they’re ready. Women, as with most things, take masturbation a bit differently. Women use it for self pleasure, of course, but also for a bit of intimacy as well. We ladies take a bit longer to orgasm, and masturbating let’s us take our time. Women certainly have more toys for it, and aren’t looked down upon for having said toys. So, in theory, masturbation should be easy and fun without difficulty….
What, however, if it isn’t? I’ve been sexually active for over 20 years, and for most of it, self pleasure wasn’t a big deal. It became a timing issue when my child arrived, but otherwise no biggie. Until THE ILLNESS arrived (see blog post Elephant in the room), and my sex life including masturbation, got infinitely more difficult. With self pleasure before, my mind and my toy were all that mattered and was necessary. I became more aware as time went on that I needed enormous amounts of physical and mental stimulation to come. Now, if I don’t have extreme clitoral stimulation, like the mother of all vibrators, AND strong visual input (hentai anyone?) nothing happens. Sometimes I can hold a wand to my clit for hours and just fall to sleep, to awaken to the buzzing. Do I miss the release of a good earthquake orgasm….damn straight. What I miss more is a sense of intimacy with my own body, that one thing making life bearable is harder to find. My own body is making me lonely. Also, it’s making me broke as hell. I’ve burned up three wands in a year, and the fourth is sputtering. The point has been reached where I need super powerful vibrators, and they are costly. It’s why I envy my sex toy reviewer friends who get their shit for free.
So, ladies and gents, if you have the time and wherewithal, self pleasure is the gift that keeps on giving. Just give us who struggle a glancing though, and send some orgasmic vibes are way.

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